The Onion: Why should anyone buy your record? <br>
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Scott Lucas (vocals/guitars): [submitted via e-mail] Why should anyone buy your record? 
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<br>O: Do you think your record will help people? <br>
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SL: Do you think your record will help people? <br>
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O: Do you think your record could save lives? <br>
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SL: Do you think your record could save lives? <br>
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O: Is this record your ticket to heaven? <br>
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SL: Is this record your ticket to heaven? <br>
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O: Are you just repeating everything I say? <br>
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SL: Are you just repeating everything I say? <br>
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O: Well, Local H sucks. <br>
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SL: Well, Local H s... Doh! Fuck! <br>
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Local H's newest album is titled Here Comes The Zoo. (Buy It!)<br>
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--Stephen Thompson